Lazy, lazy, lazy....well, maybe not

But I feel like I've been lazy for not posting more often. In actuality, I've been quite busy (being a single mom of four during each week is no easy feat). :) This past week was especially stressful because of the whole car situation, my house not selling, and it was my week to teach in Relief Society (that's enough to stress me out no matter what other things I have going on!). But I tell you what, I have truly been blessed.

I think it began three days ago when Ryan checked craigslist and found a car that was 1k below our limit for a vehicle. I took it to friend of ours to see how it checks out (make sure that there wasn't anything secretly wrong with it). Nope, squeaky clean. It's a 2005 Chrysler Town and Country. Captains seats for the middle row and stow and go seating too. Much more room than the regular caravan that I was squishing our family into. Oh, I'm in heaven! I actually will pick up the van later this week. I couldn't thank Heavenly Father enough for helping us out there.

Well, now that we'll have a new and working van, we needed to get rid of the old one. But really, who on earth would buy a vehicle that needs a new engine?! Ryan decided to post it on craigslist for the heck of it. He specifically stated exactly what was wrong with it. Um, would anyone believe that 3 hours later it was sold??? Holy cow. Funny thing--so, I haven't driven the van in over a week (I've been driving Mom and Dad's van--thank you sooooo much!!!!). Well, I kinda forgot that it kills the battery when you don't run the car. Soooooo, the guy gets here and wants to hear what the engine sounds like. I put the key in the ignition and....nothing. OH my gosh, I was mortified. He told me he'd talk it over with his wife and get back to me in an hour. Secretly I was thinking "yeah right!!!!". I mean, granted, all it took was the jumper cables and a few minutes being hooked up to Ryan's car to get the van started. But still...it couldn't have been a good omen. Well, sure enough, less than an hour later this guy calls and wants to come by and pay cash for it. !!! All Ryan and I could do is give lots of thanks to the Lord. It's crazy how things have just been working out this week.

And it doesn't end there. This past week I've reallllly been struggling with my lesson for RS. It just wasn't coming together for me and it simply wasn't sticking in my head. Of course, I'm still used to 15 minute lessons that also consist of songs and activities. Now I'm working with an 8 page lesson that is supposed to last 35 minutes. And instead of being with children, I'm with ladies my age and older. I've struggled with being shy all my life--it's always been extremely intimidating for me to get up in front of large groups. When Ryan and I first gave our "couple" talks together in sacrament, I had written every single word of my talk (he only had a note card that had a few words scribbled on it). Slowly over the years I've climbed the latter to the point of only needing an outline--but the entire time I'm up there I'm shaking like a leaf. Cold and sweaty palms and everything. So of course last night I was tossing and turning (even had a real nightmare of how it all went wrong). Well, I got up in front of the ladies and just began from the beginning. A great story about Joseph and Emma. I did blank on a couple words halfway through, which was extremely embarrassing, but from there....it was amazing. I really only had about 5 quotes that I was going to share and then trust on class participation. I've attended some wards where it's like pulling teeth to get anyone to speak up. Today was different though. It flowed so well, the sisters were eager to share their thoughts and experiences. It occured to me afterwards that I actually was enjoying myself up there at the podium. I didn't have a set speech/outline. I had notecards for a "just in case I completely blank or forget to ask these questions". But I didn't even need to use them. This has NEVER happened to me before. Me? Me at ease being the teacher? Any other time it would seem laughable to me, even downright perposterous. But I don't know. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Well, and the lesson just so happened to be "Obedience: when the Lord commands, do it". I've been called to teach. So I studied to the best of my ability and taught with the spirit--and the Lord took care of the rest. Here is proof that through our trials we grow. When we are pushed out of our comfort zones, we are given the chance to become better people and are blessed for it.

Something that was mentioned in my lesson today--when we obey the lord's commandments, we are blessed. Now, we don't get to choose what those blessings are or even the time frame for which we receive them. That really hit home. We've been praying daily for our house to sell, praying to be a complete family. In the midst of this, we try to remain strong and keep the commandments. Well, we've been blessed with a vehicle to replace the broken one--and the new one is actually better suited to fit our needs. I'm becoming more comfortable in my calling. Now, I didn't pray for either of these things. But the Lord knows our needs and desires. He also knows what is best for us--and when. I'm not sure why the house hasn't sold yet--and who am I to question the Lord? But I know that He's looking out for us and taking care of us.